In AA, each alcoholic is not only encouraged to see how they are like their fellow alcoholics, drug abusers and addicts, but they are actively dissuaded from thinking that they are different. It is said that a reason for many alcoholics’ failure to get and stay sober is that they think that the rules of the program don’t fully apply to them; that they are special. AAs have a term for this phenomenon which they call ‘terminal uniqueness’. The terminally unique are believed to have lower rates of success because they justify and rationalize their actions because they are “not like those other losers” or they might even believe that they are unlike any other human being on earth. They don’t conform to the program, and, believe it or not, accepting (conforming) to the program is pretty critical to achieving success within it.

Nevertheless, the fact of the matter is that AA is a bit conceited in a their terminology. It is a fact of biology that all humans are, in fact, unique. This is simple science. For instance, have you ever met two individual human beings that were identical in all ways? No, because no two humans are exactly the same.

The problem comes from the fact that people have different depths to which they sink in their addiction. For some, they might have a drinking problem that is getting excessively worse, to the point that their spouse recommends (strongly) that they attend a drug and alcohol rehab. But, this person, may only drink at night, may not be suffering at work, may not have any health problems, etc. On the other hand, you can have a destitute drug addict or alcoholic, living on the street or in a shelter, dependent on charity to eat (and, of course, get high) and suffering dramatically in countless ways.

Both of these individuals can get help. Both can become more productive, healthier and happier. But to assume that the treatment model should be the same for both strikes me as foolish.

There is an old saying: They don’t want spiritual fulfillment in Ethiopia, they want rice.

It is important that you recognize where you are and where you are headed. In AA, it is usually said, that the true alcoholic will always end up on the street, given enough time, opportunity and alcohol. It is a truism, that the disease is progressive and gets worse over time, never better. In fact, it is this metric which old-timers use to decide who is a “true” alcoholic – as if this is a desirable trait – and who could have sobered up on their own.

The “true” alcoholic is a hopeless case without a program, or so the reasoning of the 12-step programs go. On the other hand, a hard drinker or problem drinker may want to stop drinking and can use the principles of the program to do so, but they are not doomed to alcoholic death if they do not.

Now, the point I am sidewinding towards is that there are many steps towards realizing that you have a problem and a lot of the process will depend on where you were when you started, where you are now and where you feel you will end up. It can be a tragedy when a mentally ill person loses years of their life living on the streets using and abusing. But it is, perhaps, a greater tragedy to see a mentally healthy person lose their career and possessions and end up on the street as a result of their addiction.

The point is that not every alcoholic, even without treatment is going to end up on skid row, regardless of what the dogma says. But every alcoholic, even every serious drinker, will suffer consequences as a result of their drinking that are serious and unnecessary — that is to say that these consequences would not have occurred if they had not been drinking or using. I don’t want to have to say something as basic as this, but I will: Drugs and alcohol are bad for your health, wealth and happiness. In short, drugs (alcohol is a drug) are bad.

So, when does one decide to seek help for their problem with substances? The answer is simple actually. I would recommend that one seek help for their addiction the moment that they realize that they have a problem. But this does not happen, so I propose an alternative. Try getting help when the suffering of using exceeds the suffering of not using.

As a final word, there is no point in reaching your potential as an alcoholic or drug addict. You do not need to destroy your health, career, become a prostitute, become a criminal, become destitute, etc. before you decide to do something about the problem. In fact, the earlier you are able to intervene on your own behalf and attempt to achieve sobriety, the more likely you are to achieve success.

Nobody gets a prize for hitting the lowest bottom.

In fact, nobody ever gets a prize when it comes to alcohol and drug abuse. It is simple equation: abuse + time = consequences. Of course, given enough abuse and time the consequence is always the same, that is death. Which will occur whether you abuse drugs or not, but it is likely to happen at a much later date with the intervening time being more productive, rewarding and pleasurable for you.

This post, has been a bit of a rambler. The thing about addiction recovery is that the solution is not linear. There will be good days and bad and sometimes a bad week will follow a good week. But over time, things get better, there are more good days, and life improves.

In a way that is what I do with this blog. I do not write a step-by-step guide to getting sober. There already is one of these (hint: there are twelve steps). I just write about issues that people considering drug and alcohol rehab might be thinking about. I try to share my experience as a person who is very experienced in this world and try to put things in perspective, especially for the newcomer. As a result, many of my posts are disorganized. I am going to try to make my posts a little more focused in the future because I think that they will be of more benefit that way.

For now, in the beginning, it is important that you become willing to consider the idea that your life doesn’t have to be the way that it is now. There is a way out. But the choice is yours alone and, sometimes, you need to think about it for a while.

But the thing about it is that rehab is very expensive. (I’ve written about the cost of drug rehab in a previous post.) The rehab I went to was $600 a day and they did not take my insurance. Naturally, I couldn’t afford this and it was only the goodwill of my parents that allowed me to get the treatment that I needed. I learned a lot at treatment, but one of the surprising things that I learned, that I did not know, was that there were a number of drug abuse programs already operating in my home town and, though rehab certainly helped, it wasn’t essential to check into a treatment center in order to get the help you need.

More than anything else, you will learn the program of Alcoholics Anonymous in rehab. Most rehabs are twelve step based, meaning that there methodology is derived from the AA program. And while a rehab can offer many other services, such as medication management, therapy, and treatment of a dual diagnosis, the meat and potatoes is the AA program.

What does this mean? In rehab you will learn about the twelve steps and twelve traditions as well read the Big Book of AA. You will learn the methods that have worked for millions of people and those come from the alcoholics anonymous tradition. But, now that I have been through it I can comfortably say, you don’t need to spend $20,000 to learn how AA works. You can learn this on your own for free (or a few dollars tossed into the basket at meetings.)

If you are in need of a drug abuse program, but are unable to afford rehab do not despair. If you are determined there is not reason you cannot get sober without rehab and the easiest way to do this is to get involved with a local recovery fellowship. For most people this means AA, though you could attend another fellowship such as NA or CA or, for behavioral addictions, SA, SLA, GA, etc. Just realize that it doesn’t really matter which fellowship you choose since they are all twelve step based and derive from the template that Alcoholics Anonymous created.

So, what I would recommend is that you throw yourself into your recovery with all the vigor that you used to throw yourself into your addiction. It is not difficult to find AA meetings at nearly any hour of the day. Most big cities will have at least one 24 hour club that never closes and several other large clubs that conduct AA meetings at least 5 times a day.

Therefore, free of charge, you can start hitting a morning meeting, a noon meeting, and an evening meeting. Sure, you will be completely lost as to what is going on at first, but you will be shocked at how quickly you can pick things up. In thirty days you will know just as much about how a twelve step program works as someone who headed off to an expensive drug rehab center. Also, one of the strongest traditions of AA (or any of the fellowships) is to help the new comer. For a number of reasons, AAs go the extra mile to try to make new comers feel welcome, to answer any questions they may have, get them a copy of the Big Book of AA, and help them find a sponsor. Though you may be a bit nervous upon entering your first AA meeting, you will be quite surprised how quickly you are made to feel at home.

There are other drug abuse programs that can help you for free as well, though none are quite as popular as Alcoholics Anonymous. Of these, Rational Recovery seems to have the best reputations. However, be advised that Rational Recovery, does not subscribe to the same twelve step formula as the other fellowships. But, if you feel that AA is not for you, it is another recovery program that you could try.

So, remember, that regardless of your financial situation, there are bound to be recovery groups in your area that can help provide the information and support that you will need to live your life free from drugs and alcohol. I personally, have had success with AA, but look around and find the right fit for you. Just remember, that you are going to need to use the same amount of determination and energy to overcome your addiction as you did to feed it for all those years.

Good luck to you.